yesterday was one of my hard time during my final year research. Who would expect that waiting for queue, hunting for people and stuffs, eventually leads to some kind of depression. I might got many aetiology of depression, yet, when it comes to signs and symptoms, my own diagnosis is a fake. lol. i really got into many mental disturbances nowadays.
first and foremost, i really cant endure my feelings towards him, the one i love... so much. i miss him like i never meet him for years. being an emotional woman is really tough u know. i've tried my best to lock my tears factory. And as always, i've failed.
Gosh. Plus, these emotional feelings got worsened as I've failed to complete my targeted tasks for yesterday. I just cant stand anymore of these:
- I hate waiting. yea, who's the hell that will love it.
- I hate begging others.
- I hate to repeat the same things that seems to never come to their ends.
- I hate when people just treat me like a rubbish.
- I hate to talk continuously, and suddenly i just learned that no one is actually listening to me from the beginning.
- I hate being forgetful
And i hate to be alone. Well readers, u might labelled me as an endless negative thinker. For now, what I need is all supports, which I guess I might not get from my so-called friend. Never.
Homesick!
And how bout tmrw? last Tuesday i've prepared for the worst. yet, Wednesday is damn painful, like i'm gonna die. I just finished my dinner at 12am, FROM 7pm. I'm glad that I managed to finish my meal. Been pouring tears for every half an hour. Oh do you ever need to read this?
You also might call me crazy if you know that I also laughed merrily and loudly for every half an hour.
Till then, gudnite.
xoxo~
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