hurting inside.

why why why...

why would this happened to us? why dont u give ur understanding like in the last time? i've never meant to hurt you. i have no intention to do that. i love u so much tht i will let myself hurting inside.

this. i've post this on my fb wall. i wish tht u will read this.

I just learned that you've listed me in so called 'restricted friend', a new way of friend classification in facebook perhaps. And so I wont be able to see anymore updates from you. (It was just like you're blocking me without clicking on 'unfriend' option).
'Thanx' for saving my time and my pride to stalk on you for hours. 
Despite the fact u have punished me for something that i've never meant, I still care for you, wanting to know everything that happens around you.
Now, I'm glad that u've shown me a way out from this awkward relationship. Hence, I gotta block you. I wish we were strangers.Yes we were, and we still.
Sincerely,The Emo-ing Me. :(

kenape weh.. dah tak snggup. hari2 aku update pasal ko. tak dapat cakap or msj pun takpe la.. kenape smpai tahap nk letak dalam restricted friend? whts the point of being your fb's friend?? oh. fb's friend dont necessarily be a friend, a real life? hancur hati. xkesah la utk beberape kali. sbb dah terlalu skit ati, bile bkk  page ko, rase mcm kene block sume bnde. so, i gotta block you. not for preventing you from seeing my page, but, to prevent my self. yes. my self. ko tau tak, i aku punye syg kat kau, hari2 bkk fb kau. but u did this! thanx bestfriend. my ex-bestfriend.

take care stranger.

i will never become part of them. until the end.

isolated. isolation. isolating myself after being isolated. i'm hurt.

semput! thesis is still in progress

alamak. ape aku buat nii.. adoi.. i only have less than 6 hours to finish up my RAW THESIS. without spss analysis. ntah la. pasrah!.

maybe u can diagnose me as a patient of attention deficit disorder! my mind is always wondering around. couldnt concentrate after half an hour. i feel so anxious tht i can never finish up my thesis.

at first, i tot of repeating all the test.. i wanna do a better test, with a better result, including all strains of bacteria which i am supposed to do at the beginning of the semester. urgh. i ended up with only p.aeruginosa and e.coli. i repeat, ONLY!.

i know my SV is damn frustrated with me. i'm frustrated with myself too. but what can i do? i never expect this to happen. OH THE WORST THING IN MY LIFE!

how am i going to sell myself with this poor-quality-final-year-project. i'm afraid that i will fail again.

these are all stuffs that were piled up in my head.

whatever, i'm just going to do my best. yes, my best! going to send my SUPER RAW thesis to my SV tmrw. nid to write a letter to my 'beloved' mentor, mentioning about passing up the thesis at the end of next week instead of compulsarily-monday.

and random thing here is.. i miss you Azeem. ops i miss you too Azli (rindu tak terhingge kat abg)

And Azeem, dah 4 bulan tak dengar berite since he sent me this

"lupekan sume janji sy, sy janji sy takkan ganggu dan contact awak lagi. maafkan saya" (lebih kurang la)

oh, my heart still broken due to the loss of a great bestfriend. he's one of them. the only boy-bestfriend i've ever had. i got to knew him online, we have known each other since last year in May. i met him for the first time, unexpectedly, in last november. he is ordinary. funny. and can be BLOODY ANNOYING for making  stupid jokes, and calling me at 3am almost everynight.  i never be that annoyed with anyone except him. the most important thing is, he gave me moral supports when i'm having a huge crisis my cik abang. and now, everytime my boyfriend went sailing, his memories keep hurting me. i'm hurt since i know there is no other way for me to contact him again.

i miss you aquada90z@yahoo.com

;'(

yeyey

alhamdulillah.

walaupun still banyak keje tak siap. thesis takde result. report tak hanta lagi. and esok nak present walaupun lansung tak prepare ape2 lagi.. i feel grateful.

esok nk present.. just nk google more about PCR thingy. and prepare the scripts.

tmrw's gonna meet my supervisor. i planned to do disc diffusion method. and MIC. going to tell him this.

alhamdulillah. semua bende ade hikmah. Tuhan takkan bagi dugaan yang hambaNya tak mampu utk lalui.

I miss my ikan keli besar. sangat2 bahagie walaupun aku slalu je wat hal. wat prangai.. marah2 sbb thesis.

thanx Allah. die sgt memahami for the time being. i love u. die suke sgt manjekan udang cergas ni.. ngee.. 

xoxo~

hampeh.

battleship? mmg hampeh. bkn cite tu yg hampeh.. tapi hampeh sbb sume plan ntah ke mana... -_- balik je meeting smlm terus tido.

harini tak sempat buat lab sbb tgu awek...and then..mls nk rush balik lab. kunci pun tak amik lagi.
in the end, minggu ni lansung tak buat lab.
tp tadi time karok, memang diva abes la.. hujan pun tak turun.. maksudnye suare dah sedap. wohoooooooo!!! ahaks.

hmm..byk gile keje yg due date die overlapping. satu mlm ni. satu esok, satu lagi sabtu? lab?
sempat ke nak grad..

**hantuk2 kepale kat dinding**


xoxo~pale hotak kau. haha. adios.

hello diary.

since none of ppls out there are reading my blog, i guess this could be a sign tht i can write (and yell out) my problems here...

heh. kojo xsiap lagi oiiii.. dari tadi duk buat poster Huntington's disease. and now..

these are the tasks tht i must finish before i go to faculty tmrw.

urgh.

- edit ppt of genetic analysis of Huntington's disease (HD)

- buat words of HD genetic analysis

- buat ppt of case study + librium side effects

- buat wordsssss of case study.

hoh.boley siap keeee...?? ado2. pecah pale. i'll try my best. tak tido pun takpela. errr..

AS A REWARD, PEGI PESTA BUKU @ BORDERS @ BATTLESHIP! hoyeahh.. go mila go.

xoxo~

Arabian night~

this dinner is fantastic. however, there are certain things.. unwanted ones.. tht happened on the nite.
-mimi was not there. i'm alone. not really alone. but always be left alone.
-i left my camera. so i nid to be a busybody in everybody's pitcha..
-... xdapat amik gambar dgn sume org.

so.. these are some of my favourite photos of Arabian Night. tadaaaa~~~

with pey yu jie.

i love this effect! me-aimi-sheila

me & my girls

some of malay girls (sorg je bkn malay..lol..consider malay je la sheila..hehe)

a close up of me~
susah payah make up camni.. haha.. it took me abt 1 hrs, for eyes only.

xoxo~

JIA YOU.

 tenkiyu for those yg bagi semangat. Alhamdulillah.. ade jugak motivations dr org len. including deq rady la.. walaupun die ckp aku slalu men fb. hmmm.. oke la tu.

YOUR GOING TO DO YOUR BEST ENGKU SHARMILA!!! BASSSYAAAAA!!

xoxo~

BURST!

harini dah dua kali burst pasal thesis takde result lagi. rase nk terjun bgnn woo bile kte dh korbankan macam2.. tp still tak tau kat mane salah silap kite..

i did my best!
but it seems i havent done my best. i nid to do more! and more.

ya Allah.. Kau tabahkanlah hatiku. Tak pernah sangke final year is this torturing. rase sgt2 bersalah kat SV, geran takde result lagi.. bulan depan nk present dah. ya Allah.. ape aku nak present.. berilah aku kesempatan.. aku nak grad.. nk konvo.. but for that i nid to be strong. AKU KENE SIAPKAN SUME LABWORKS.

pseudomonas aeruginosa, e.coli. s.aureus, s.epid, and salmonella typhi.. pliz be nice to me. Help me ya Allah.

#buntu#

mood pictas.

dinner mode is activated! pheww~~~
xoxo~