procrastination + stress + lack of love = depression

hmmm.. entah bile la nk start buat writing. ingatkan nk try buat hari ni.. last2 end up tgk fb satu hari.

skang ni mmg gile2 stress, bukan sebab banyak keje.. tp banyak bende nk fikir. haritu tersalah order dialysis tube. rasenye mcm tersalah,.. risau gile.. tak tau nk explain kat dr.camne.... freeze-dryer lagi.. =(

and lastly, makin hari makin kurang kasih sayang. kalau dulu, begayut 4 jam sehari, pastu lame2 jadik 4 kali sehari. pastu, jadi 4minit sehari. and now, 4 hari sekali. (bukan 4 hari sekali je dpt bgayut, tp 4hari sekali ni dpt dengar suare. gayut belum tentu lagi...)

apelah nasib kan.

so kalau dah nampak tgh depress, tak yah duk tanye2 lagi. makin sedih aderrrr...

so negative of me. =(

isu kamis, jumaat, sabtu, ahad, isninnnn...

kan dah banyak hari melepas...  first of all, mood sangat2 la takde nk menulis kat sni. tp mengingatkan tulis blog dapat pulihkan mood.. i'm here~

kamis 01.12.2011>>
everything went smoothly...mmg xdisangka2kan. dpt karoks puas2.. and dapat flask! yey~ spatutnye kene amik gambar ala-ala dapat trofi gituw. LOL. And guess what? He contacted me! i misss him badly. aww =(


jumaat 02.12.2011>> nothing so special abt this day, except for my isolation. i dunnoe if i'm the only one so perasan with this, but anyway... i was really2 terasa u know. i've been waiting for them to show their appreciation to me, but its damn hopeless. thus, after being 'dumped' or leaved while i'm so rushing, worrying, guilting.. or watever-ing.. i'm no one important. that shows really unimportant i am. anyhow, i managed to recover by today.And i'm hurt so much baybeh. it has been many2 times i've ignored tht kind of irritation and insults. hey, i wont be terhegeh2 anymore. i'm gonna stand on my own. i repeat, on my own.

sabtu>> hari yang sangat tak best. eh lupe plak, ade family day yang sangat tak best di sunway lagoon. wanna know why?
- firstly, the pengurusan of sunway annoys me so much until i feels like "aku nak tarik2 rambut kau". wat the heavens?? yea.. i know, there was a signboard stated that  OUTSIDE FOODS ARE NOT ALLOWED! but wat the heaven la you people bullshit yang lansung tak respect makanan. you guys rampas all the foods, tht mainly are cooked by the best housewives whom are willingly to woke up at 5am just to prepare extra food or emergency foods for their family members? at least, put it properly ON THE TABLE, NOT IN THE GARBAGE PLASTIC LA, pandai! ko sedar tak ramai yang kebulur kat luar tu? takde la terkilan sgt sbb ak dapat makan nugget mahal dengan wedges mahal. tapi yang terkilannye, where is your respect values towards foods? nasib baik tak sempat amik gambar. kalau tak mmg sedap ar aku kutuk sunway's management!

- secondly. diorg ni mmg bapak pandai, because of the protons people are really a lots, korang SPREAD kitorg, plus ragging kitorg mcm nak mampus. sbb nk elak jammed la kan,. dah la makanan sume kene buang, mostly datang awal coz nk reserve parking, HENCE MOSTLY TAK BREAKFAST LAGI. so from where the energy came just to take our BRUNCH..khemah mknn punye la jauh, pastu, jalan balik sehala. mmg pagi2 dah berjaya tawaf sunway lagoon dengan tangan mcm nak patah bawak makanan yang amat berat. balik umah rase mcm nk tercabut tangan ni. hoi.. at least consider la... ape kate spread or divide khemah mknn into several locations? takdela letak kat ujung sunway lagoon.


-3rdly, org ramai sangat. tak sempat nk main ape pun except pirates' revenge.

Ahad>> arghhh.,.. dah rindu die tahap gaban.

Isnin>> Doomed day. dahla sblm Encik pegi, die tak gitau die nak ilang smpai pukul brape. =< tiap2 mase check enset woooo.



xoxo~  sob sob sobbss~~

tomorrow is indeed unpredictable.

yesterday was one of my hard time during my final year research. Who would expect that waiting for queue, hunting for people and stuffs, eventually leads to some kind of depression. I might got many aetiology of depression, yet, when it comes to signs and symptoms, my own diagnosis is a fake. lol. i really got into many mental disturbances nowadays. 

first and foremost, i really cant endure my feelings towards him, the one i love... so much. i miss him like i never meet him for years. being an emotional woman is really tough u know. i've tried my best to lock my tears factory. And as always, i've failed.

Gosh. Plus, these emotional feelings got worsened as I've failed to complete my targeted tasks for yesterday. I just cant stand anymore of these:

- I hate waiting. yea, who's the hell that will love it.

- I hate begging others.

- I hate to repeat the same things that seems to never come to their ends.

- I hate when people just treat me like a rubbish.

- I hate to talk continuously, and suddenly i just learned that no one is actually listening to me from the beginning.

- I hate being forgetful

 

And i hate to be alone. Well readers, u might labelled me as an endless negative thinker. For now, what I need is all supports, which I guess I might not get from my so-called friend. Never. 

Homesick!

And how bout tmrw? last Tuesday i've prepared for the worst. yet, Wednesday is damn painful, like i'm gonna die. I just finished my dinner at 12am, FROM 7pm. I'm glad that I managed to finish my meal. Been pouring tears for every half an hour. Oh do you ever need to read this?

You also might call me crazy if you know that I also laughed merrily and loudly for every half an hour.

Till then, gudnite.

xoxo~

kasihan~~~

kah3. look at united states viewers' number. i wonder what have they read from my blog, if not from my first entry which was a completely copy-paste cellulitis information from a website. LOL.

Now, what is meant by cellulitis? ceh, baca la sendiri.. tgk kat older posttt~ ;p

kesimpulannye, sile la mem-frustkan lagi blog readers anda dengan bende2 yang 'b'est'. like i did.

Anyway, i'm no more doing research on cellulitis for my final year project, but something which is still related to it. the title is Extraction of Epidermal Mucous from Clarias batrachus and its effectiveness as antibacterial agent. I might be testing it on Acanthamoeba sp. as well if only my supervisor ask me to do it. Roughly, i'm going to use well diffusion assay in order to test the antibacterial activity in the mucous. The bacterias are E.coli, S.aureus, P.aeruginosa,  S.typhi and... i forgot. lol.

The progress is quite slow i guess.. i really hope i can step up on another level tmrw, if only i managed to lyophilized my sample. but before tht, i nid to be a hunter, freeze-dryer's flask hunter. Quite tiring and irritating. =(

I HATE WAITING! urghh~

hmm.. i guess i gtg sleep now. this time is real. GUDNITE peeps.

i miss you abang, tak boleh msj, tak blh call. too bad. so post kat sini je la..

lidar melecuh. ;p

gara2 kelaparan and dah tak tahan nak makan, main taram je bubur panas. ngeee~ xsangke still berjaye memujuk diri utk masak bubur even dah pukul 11 lebih. kul 12.30, everything settled. tinggal nak masuk mulut je.. so... lidah melecurrr.. waaa..waa..

bubur kentang + ikan bilis ranggup + sup = happy!

And petang tadi forensics ade buat pizza party kat umah. Being the only one biomed, i'm proud for not limiting myself in my cliche damn enjoy with them.

photo ni mmg sengaje kasi besar. hehe...

i'm full, tp takmoh tido lagiiii.

japgi nk melalut dalam next entry.

xoxo~

They bug me so much until i cant avoid myself from typing this- ARGGHHHHHH!!!!! (With silent screams)

i hate you!

Encik, harini dah masuk hari ke-3. Tp semalam try msj encik, pastu dapat. Bile call encik, ingatkan tak dapat dah.. tp tetibe Encik ckp dengan nada yg 'best' --> "JANGAN CALL BLH TAK, DAH SAMPAI INDON NIII, NANTI KEDIT ABIS." sbb roaming charge.

so what? aku rindu kau mcm nak mati. takdenye separuh mati. dah la duduk kat hostel. memang tahap menggelupur la kan, kalau boleh msj, tp tak boleh msj. damn. nak balikkk umahhh... ;'( homesick plus rindu encik. I miss YOu. I hate you!

second! aku takkan jadik gini kalau aku duk umah... geram nak mampus kat sorg Encik C nih. Mule2 kene tgu satu barang dari Cik Z, pastu tak jadi..dah berzaman gileerr tgu barang tu.. last, my thesis research ended up to be, "No progress".  seminggu lebih gak la kot. then, terjumpe Encik C.. (cewah, terjumpe tuuu..) konon2 blh dapat la barang tu dari kau, so.... bak kate gumihoo, nomu nomu nomu nomu nomu harap la sgt ko dpt tlg aku... 2 weeks had passed. Esok, kalau stil aku kene jadik penunggu setia kau, mmg bye2 la. pasni.. aku taktau la nk jadi ape ngan mukus tuh.. haraaaaapp2 sgt! 3 minggu dah aku jadik freeze-dryer's flask hunter yang tak ber-ijazah. penattt~~ ingatkan blh dapat harini, last2 hampeh. bossaaan.

Memang kalau balik umah, takkan jadik se-fed-up gini. dah la line berukband macam-----------------------> 

pastu dari kul 10 pagi tadi tgk video, smpai skg tak abis buffer lagi. What The Heavens la kan. last2, aku end up tgk My Girlfriend is A Gumiho dua kali. Asal ending je nangis... sbb teringat org tu. Encik yg tak reti nk ckp elok2 bile org tgh rindu benci die. kesimpulannye, sabtu ni, i'm going to ignore you!

Emo xabis lagi ni. yesterday i went to low yat's plaza to check my so-called broken DVD player (baru ganti kot..) i thought of using the warranty to get a new one, again. tapi org kat situ kate my graphic card rosakkkkkk.. so, tgu mase je nk laptop ni. kalau nk ganti baru, dah tak mampu... (walaupun one of my bestie  kate i kaye, so takpe, i mesti mampu) dang~ this fellow oso burns my head. for now i just cant get enough of him/her. i'm going to ignore you as well. nah, that is revengeful side of me, so pliz endure. 

but anyhow, someone is actually managed to knock my frustrations outta my head. hehe.. dapat Kepsi time frust mmg terbaik, walaupun kene blanje die.. gelak mcm org tak betul mmg bagos utk perasaan. tanx buddy a.k.a. encik AZ. okey now, tips utk org yg nk repair or tukar barang laptop kat kedai.

-sile catat no series barang yang asal.

-kotak? kalau barang baru,..mesti ade kotak. eh?

-sile pegi kat kedai yang betul. jgn pakai taram walaupun worker die comel ala2 Hana Tajima. ceh, aku sbnrnye kene tipu bak kate Encik AZ. impaired graphic card is kinda not related with display, usb connection, And DVD detection? yang rosak..DVD je.. mcm takde kene mengene.. pffftt~

And yeah, not forgotten, baru je ingat nk masak bubur. tapi dlm cooker ade nasik lagi.. mls nk buang. Ingat nak pegi beli kerang bakar,, tp tadi tak perasan dah lewat. nak ajak org teman, takde yg sudi. Cinta elisa? itupun terlepas.. sbb takde org teman.. 

gile menyedihkan kalau hidup hari2 mcm ni.. lagu ni pun sedey.

i gotta sleep early to hunt for the flask. And, I miss him so much tht i will cry anywhere and when i feel lonely. by sleeping early, i wont be possessed by this killing-sad feeling.

nite.

salam sayang, 

freeze-dryer's flask hunter & ultracentrifuge tube's bubble destroyer.

xoxo~ ARGGHHHHH!

Bogoshippeo.

harap2 die dpt jage hati sy di seberang laut sane. <3 i miss you. i'm gonna wait the moment of talking to you after five more days. for that, i need to be a strong woman!

nomu nomu nomu nomu nomu nomu nomu nomu bogoshippeo! (xpaham, sile ignore!)

btw, esok nak pegi majlis pertunangan housemate~ got to sleep now. nites.

song of the day: Fox Rain by Lee Sun Hee.


xoxo~

Gumiho hoiiiiiii~~~

pssssttt.. smlm tak pegi kelas sebab qada' tido plus  pening lalat dek tido lewat gile..sumenye demi nk abeskan tgk cite   My girlfriend is a gumiho.. mmg suweet abesla... suwey pun boley la... errrr.. tak pasal2 terlajak tido gile2 punye. bile sampai kat umah pun terus tido JUGAK . bangun2 je dh pkul 11.00pm..

roughly, die punye jln citer..ala2 fairy tale gitu.. namepun gumiho= musang berekor sembilan. gumiho jatuh cinte kat human named Cha Dae Woong. pastu..cam biase la.. cinte terlarang.. seyes, mmg enjoy gile cite ni.. gelak guling2 sampai tak ingat nk tdo.

paling best, OST die.. takde la jiwang sgtpun,,, just dat music die mmg superb la!

i gtg hibernate. daaaa~~~ park dong ju!! i love you! eh.. silap.. ;p

xoxo~

^_^

haa... bile once dh start blogging, kompem adeeeee je bende nk post. especially within peak periods (peak tu mkasudnye time mood nak ade.. time mood takdek, at last blog ni akan terbengkalai jugak.;p)

smlm spatutnye buat bab 2 untuk thesis. tp sebab ni...

everything went wrongggg. so, this time, i will try my best to begin my writing. fightingg~~~~ and belows are tips for enhancing your good mood.

1) get a CHOCOLATE or something sweet or your favourite food!
2) jumpy songss! say no to ballads.
3) minum air kosong banyak2

4) bau favourite perfume anda.

5) pets!

6) bersedekah la... or tolong orang.

7) smile~~

8) express your feelings thru facebooking & blogging!

reADY! ok jom buat thesiss!!!

xoxo~

let's ignore all the posts below.. teheee... i'm back into blogging world, walaupun syiok sendiri.. >< ade aku kesah.

harini tersangat2 lah bossaannn... and thats the main reason blog ini dibuka semula.. utk tatapan syok sendiri.
but anyway...sepatutnye harini ade lab, tapi lupe.. apedaaaaa~~


today's issues


wartawan harini ingin melaporkan hidup skyladwena agak tunggang terbalik plus haru biru.

the reasons are...

 

1. skyladwena tak dapat satu pun mesej dari encik ini. tgk! gamba ni pun tunjuk die tgh majukk.. hmmm =(. padahal tgh sibuk berenang kat selat melake. berenang la sgt.. kiki  **Encik! sy rindu encik.. sume mesej yg sy anta sumenye pending!**
2. harini skyladwena lupe nk pegi lab. supposedly kene centrifuge mucus lagiiii.. tp lupe. apekan daye. so, she's gonna prepare for the worst tmrw!!! (eh lupe plak nk italic kan english word. ceh.. bajet jeee.. wakaka)
3. and harini jugak printer rosak, bocor, ink tak moh naik masuk catridge. anyway... ade few things yg kite blh buat kalau ink pirnter stuck kat wire..   and tak nak masuk catridge. (kalau gune printer yg ade external tank la.) firstly.. letak printer atas kerusi, cabut catridge dari tempat die (properly), pastu letak catridge tu kat bawh krusi. alas dengan surat khabar yg super tebal. ink tu automatically akan fullfill the wire n masuk catridge. let it be for 2-3 mins. agak banjir la jugakk.. then slowly letak balik kat tempat asal. tekan maintenance button3x and start button sekali. pastu print la colour bebnyak. so tht, takde bubble and ink takkan stuck lagik. AND PALING PENTING, TAYAH BAWAK BALIK JUMPE DR. PRINTER a.k.a. DADDY.    (p/s: taktau la betul ke tak.. tp dah cube care ni. dan menjadik. -printer Canon Pixma MP145)
4. harini encik A saje buat sy dan cik A perasssss (frustt). baru je berangan nak pegi memekik sokong malaysia kat stadiummmm.. tp kat kedai je upenye... ceit. PERASSSS ABESS KOOOTTTSSS. dang~
5. lagi lagi isu ni. ketidakstabilan emosi. alahai, susah nye jadik pompuan...... -_-

song of the day: Revolution by Ft Island.

muaahahaha.. hacchuum!

berabuk sudah blog ni.. ape nak buat.. tuan punye blog gile malas bab2 blog. bukak fb seminggu sekali pun mujur. but once dah bukak fb, kompem dah tak buat bende len. kuang3...

layanzzz (walaupun in russian) sobs :<

<iframe style='overflow: hidden; border: 0; width: 600px; height: 480px' src='http://embed.novamov.com/embed.php?width=600&height=480&v=cjjemgmkg0t4f&px=1' scrolling='no'></iframe>

pssssttt by

thesis oh thesis

ngeee... i'm on the way to my final year.. n yes. i've got my thesis topic, which is the effect of limeberry extraction as an anti-cellulitis agent. sedikit excited di sini coz my supervisor is superly adorable by students! yeay~ hopefully, my final year is gonna be a most memorable year.. below are the link for definition of cellulitis and more..

http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/214222-overview

(copy from a web..)

Etiology

Host factors

Certain host factors predispose to severe infection. Individuals with comorbid conditions such as diabetes mellitus (frequently polymicrobial), immunodeficiency, cancer, venous stasis, chronic liver disease, peripheral arterial disease, chronic kidney disease, and other systemic disease appear to be at a higher risk for both recurrent and more severe infection, owing to an altered host immune response. Other factors that affect host immunity and predispose to cellulitis include concurrent intravenous (IV) or subcutaneous (SC) “skin popping” drug use; infections in this setting are most often polymicrobial, but community-associated methicillin-resistant S aureus (CA-MRSA) is also a common pathogen.

In individuals with normal host defenses, the most common causative organisms are group A streptococci (GAS) and S aureus. Group BStreptococcus cellulitis occurs in infants younger than 6 months, as their immune responses are not fully developed. The cellulitis may present as sepsis^[6] ; underlying osteomyelitis or septic arthritis must be excluded in these infants. (See the image below.)

A case of cellulitis without associated purulence in an infant. Note the presence of lymphedema, a risk factor for cellulitis (Photo courtesy of Amy Williams).

In children, facial cellulitis is frequently associated with H influenzae type B and S pneumoniae; prophylactic pneumococcal vaccine may be effective in the latter cases. A study of one-half million pediatric hospitalizations demonstrated that, although bacterial meningitis and epiglottitis diminished as a result of immunization for H influenzae type B and S pneumoniae, the incidence of facial cellulitis was unaffected.^[7] However, another study noted that 96% of the serotypes that cause facial cellulitis are included in the heptavalent-conjugated pneumococcal vaccine that is licensed in the United States.

Immunocompromised hosts typically become infected from opportunistic organisms, including gram-negative rods (eg, Pseudomonas, Proteus, Serratia, Enterobacter, Citrobacter), anaerobes, and others (eg, Helicobacter cinaedi, Fusarium species). Although fungi (eg, Cryptococcus) may also cause cellulitis, this is rare.

Pneumococci may cause a particularly malignant form of cellulitis that is frequently associated with tissue necrosis, suppuration, and bloodstream invasion. Two distinct syndromes are recognized: the first is marked by involvement of the extremities in patients with diabetes or substance abuse, and the second is marked by involvement of the head, neck, and upper torso in patients with systemic lupus erythematosus, nephrotic syndrome, or hematologic disorders.^[8]

Mycobacterial infections may present as cellulitis. Typically, the lack of response to antibiotics prompts further investigation. The diagnosis is made based on the presence of granulomas, multinucleated giant cells, and acid-fast bacilli (AFB) from biopsy specimens.^{[9, 10, 11]}

S aureus is the leading cause of soft-tissue infections in injection drug users,^[12] followed by Streptococcus species.^[13]

Gram-negative bacteria may cause bullous cellulitis in patients with cirrhosis.^[14] Early recognition is vital, as the course of the disease is rapid, typically progressing to septic shock and death. Gram stain and culture of fluid aspirated from the bullae may aid in management.

Recurrent staphylococcal cellulitis may occur in patients with nasal carriage of staphylococci and those with Job syndrome.

Hospital-acquired infections

Various hospital-acquired infections following soft-tissue trauma may lead to cellulitis, such as those around surgical wounds less than 24 hours postoperatively (group A beta-hemolytic Streptococcus [GABHS] orClostridium perfringens, which produces gas that may be appreciated as crepitus on examination) or from gunshot wounds or invasive devices (Acinetobacter baumannii is an emerging multidrug-resistant pathogen in these scenarios.)^[15]

Cellulitis due to lymphatic obstruction or venectomy is generally caused by non–group A streptococci (ie, groups B, C, and G).^{[16, 17]} Postvenectomy status following saphenous vein stripping can also result in cellulitis^[16] and is associated with tinea pedis; culture of toe web spaces may assist in identifying a bacterial pathogen.^[18] Lymphadenectomy following tumor excision, such as mastectomy, is also a predisposing factor for cellulitis.

Varicella

Cellulitis can complicate varicella and may be identified by a margin of erythema surrounding the vesicles. In one study, patients with invasive GAS cellulitis complicating varicella were identified.^[19] The median onset of GAS infection was day 4 of varicella, with fever, vomiting, and localized swelling reported.^[19] This condition mandates antibiotic treatment and careful clinical follow-up. Untreated cellulitis in association with varicella may progress to severe necrotizing soft-tissue infections requiring surgical intervention.^[20]

MRSA

Cellulitis can be complicated by abscess formation. A maxim in microbiology states, "The hallmark of staph infection is abscess formation." This has become a significant concern due to changing patterns of antibiotic resistance in S aureus, particularly MRSA.^[21]

MRSA was first reported in 1968^[22] ; for years, MRSA infections were identified only in patients with recent hospitalization, surgery, renal dialysis, residence in long-term-care facilities, or IV drug use. However, in recent years, isolates of S aureus have been found in patients without risk factors for nosocomial disease.^[23] These isolates have been termed CA-MRSA to distinguish them from the previously identified hospital or healthcare-associated MRSA (HA-MRSA). (See the images below.)

Although reports have indicated that MRSA causes the majority of skin and soft-tissue infections (SSTIs), these studies are plagued by variability in case-finding methodologies.^[24] Furthermore, in the context of cellulitis, the finding is misleading in that these reports come from analysis of wound cultures in cases in which abscess formation occurred. Cultures in cellulitis are difficult to perform and are infrequently done. Therefore, the results of these studies cannot be generalized to cellulitis without abscess formation. Studies are under way to determine the incidence of S aureus —in particular, CA-MRSA in soft-tissue infection in which there is no identifiable abscess. However, until results of those studies are available, treatment decisions must be made on clinical grounds.

Patient with cellulitis of the left ankle. Note the area of drainage. This cellulitis was caused by community-acquired methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (CA-MRSA). (Photo courtesy of Texas Dept. of Public Health)Abscess and associated cellulitis caused by community-acquired methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (CA-MRSA). (Photo courtesy of Texas Dept. of Public Health)Hand cellulitis caused by community-acquired methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (CA-MRSA).

Bite wounds, lacerations, and puncture wounds

Mammalian bite wounds represent a specific subset of cellulitis with unique pathogens. The infections are usually polymicrobial.^[25] Human, dog, cat, and wild-animal bites all predispose to cellulitis with unique pathogens, but dogs are the most commonly encountered bite wound in both the primary care and emergency setting.^[26] Several organisms are of particular interest in animal bites, including the following^[25] :

• Capnocytophaga canimorsus (dog)
• Eikenella corrodens (human)
• Pasteurella multocida (dog or cat)
• Streptobacillus moniliformis (rat)

Puncture wounds, especially through the bottom of athletic shoes, may cause Pseudomonas osteomyelitis and/or cellulitis. However, lacerations and puncture wounds sustained in an aquatic environment (eg, oceans, lakes, streams) may be contaminated with bacteria not typically found in land-based injuries, including Aeromonas hydrophila, Pseudomonas and Plesiomonasspecies, Vibrio species, Erysipelothrix rhusiopathiae, Mycobacterium marinum, and others.^[27] Individuals with chronic liver disease are particularly susceptible to V vulnificus infections (see the image below).^[28]

Cellulitis due to documented Vibrio vulnificus infection. Image courtesy of Kepler Davis.


phewww.. mcm susah je.. err.. 

just a new post..

alohaa... tetibe rase nak aktif blog balik.. but too bad nasib x menyebelahi. blog2 lepas xingat psword derrr..

teeheeee,.. so let me introduce myself.. i'm ES.

ciao~~~